Andy 0:00
Welcome to the HigherEdJobs Podcast. I'm Andy Hibel, the chief operating officer and one of the co-founders of HigherEdJobs.

Kelly 0:07
I'm Kelly Cherwin, the director of editorial strategy. Today, we are lucky to have Dr. Laura Parson, and we'll be talking about empathy, care, and connection in higher education. Dr. Parson is an associate professor of educational and organizational leadership at North Dakota State University and is the author of Understanding and Supporting College Students with Empathy: A Guide for Higher Education Practitioners. Her research examines how institutional policies, practices, and culture shape the experiences of faculty and students. She holds a Ph.D. in higher education from the University of North Dakota and a master's in adult education teaching English to speakers of other languages. Laura also teaches courses on higher education structure and organizational culture and maintains public scholarship at LauraParson.com. Thank you, Laura, so much for joining us today.

Laura 0:53
Thank you so much for having me. It's an honor.

Kelly 0:55
So let's start with you sharing a little bit of your background and what led you to write this book focused on empathy, specifically for higher ed practitioners.

Laura 1:03
Yeah, absolutely. It's a winding journey, and as I reflect back on it, and as I was learning about empathy, I realized at a certain point that I had been teaching it and talking about it all along, but I didn't know that what I was talking about was empathy.

The reason I did that is that I was working on a sponsored funded project with the Air Force, Air University specifically, and as a part of their SACSCOC reaccreditation, they were redesigning and revamping their ethical leadership curriculum. As a part of that, we were identifying the competencies of an ethical leader, and through some research talking to airmen across the Air Force, we discovered that one of the competencies that we could work on developing was empathy.

As part of that project, I volunteered to teach and research empathy and to develop that empathy curriculum and programming. It was completely new to me, but as I started researching it, I started realizing that we can really divide empathy into cognitive empathy, which is more perspective taking, and emotional empathy, which is thinking about putting yourself or feeling with other people. That perspective taking was the thing that I had been working on all along, that I had been teaching all along.

We saw it as something necessary for Air Force leaders, but as I was doing that work, I realized that this was something important for all leaders and all practitioners in higher education.

I want to step back a second because when we think about what empathy is, sometimes there's a misconception that empathy is about fully putting yourself in someone else's shoes and giving yourself up to feel completely with them. That's important, and that's valuable. But empathy as a leadership competency is being able to put yourself in someone else's shoes, maybe someone that you have to make decisions for or decisions about, to be able to see a situation from their perspective, to be able to feel their emotions, to understand how they're feeling in that situation, and then to be able to step back and make a decision that considers their interests but also the interests of everyone you're working with, for your entire institution.

So it's that element of using the information you're gaining by experientially feeling what someone else is feeling and then making decisions that consider your needs, their needs, and the needs of your institution that I think is something that could really be developed in higher education, both to help us connect more with our students and to help us connect more with our colleagues.

I was able to take the work I had done training ethical leaders for the Air Force and apply that to the higher education setting. I see it as something transformative in the way that we work with our students, because we're able to be more present, more caring, and more thoughtful in our words and deeds as we navigate our higher education worlds.

Andy 4:05
The model in your book introduces four domains of empathy. Before you explain those four domains and what they look like in day-to-day campus life, could you also make sure, for those of us, including myself, who sometimes have a hard time explaining the difference between sympathy and empathy, what you would describe as the difference between the two?

Laura 4:26
Yeah. I think the easiest way to think about it is that empathy is feeling with someone else, and sympathy is often feeling for someone else. Sympathy can almost be synonymous with pity, although not always. Brené Brown has a great video where she breaks this down.

Being able to say, "I am feeling with you, I understand your emotions from your perspective," is very different from feeling for someone and saying, "I feel sad for you, I'm sorry that you're going through this." You are experiencing your own emotions of sadness for someone else, whereas empathy is about feeling with. You still maintain a self-other distinction. You don't lose yourself, but you're able to say, "I'm experientially understanding this situation because I'm seeing it and feeling it from your perspective."

Andy 5:21
And I would ask you then to expand on that. Now that we're focusing on empathy, what are those four domains of empathy, and what do they look like in day-to-day campus life?

Laura 5:33
When I think about higher education as a context, I've actually broken it into five domains, and I'll explain why one of them is split up a little bit. The way I built this framework was based on an ethic of care.

We think about the care we demonstrate for ourselves, for near others (the people we interact with daily), and for distant others. In higher education, we're thinking about care for ourselves, and then near others can be divided into students, colleagues, and, if you are in a leadership position, your subordinates. The fifth domain is social justice, thinking about how we navigate the world in ways that promote justice and care.

The reason it was important to break these into student, colleague, and subordinate domains is that the way we demonstrate empathy with students is often very different, both from a power perspective and in terms of what is appropriate for their development, than how we demonstrate empathy with colleagues or subordinates.

Empathy for ourselves is foundational. Developing the self-awareness to know how you're feeling is essential. To understand how someone else is feeling, we must have emotional literacy. We need to know what emotions are called and know that there is more than happy, sad, or angry. We develop that through awareness of our own emotions. That awareness helps us understand others' emotions.

Breaking empathy into these domains helps us identify where we want to improve. It allows us to reflect and say, "I need to work on empathy for myself," or "I need to work on empathy for colleagues," and then refine strategies to do so.

Kelly 8:27
You write that empathy isn't only about supporting others, but it also strengthens our own sense of connection and well-being. How does empathy contribute to healthier or more trusting relationships on campus, and support belonging for our students, our colleagues, and, if we're supervisors, our subordinates?

Laura 8:51
That's a really good question. Research on empathy is clear and expanding. Empathy creates stronger relationships.

In the workplace, empathic leaders are directly associated with increased employee retention, productivity, creativity, and innovation.

When we apply this to working with students, an empathetic teacher is linked to improved student outcomes, including learning.

Stronger, more positive relationships are good for our well-being. We feel more connected. When we feel more connected, that contributes to positive well-being.

Brené Brown talks about how burnout can be related to loneliness. I don’t want to overstate that, because much of the research is correlational, but when we feel connected, it supports our well-being.

Empathy is reciprocal. We cannot be fully empathetic to others when we are burned out or overwhelmed ourselves. Identifying our emotions helps us identify what we need, and that awareness supports our own well-being.

Part of empathy is recognizing timing. If you're running late and someone stops you to talk about something serious, you may not be in the best mindset to provide empathy.

Self-awareness allows us to say, "I want to talk to you about this, but I won’t be able to give you the attention this deserves. Can we meet in an hour?" Sometimes timing is urgent, but often it is not. Recognizing our capacity allows empathy to be more authentic.

The reverse is true with email. Sometimes we feel compelled to respond immediately. I follow a 24-hour rule: if I feel activated by an email, I draft a response and then wait 24 hours before sending. I reread both the email and my response. This pause helps ensure my reaction matches my intention.

These practices contribute to trust. When we are thoughtful with our language and intentional in how we listen, trust grows.

The IMPACT framework is about awareness and preparation before taking informed action. Our decisions should be informed by others’ needs and experiences. That creates authentic and responsive interactions.

Empathetic environments create strong climates. By validating student and colleague experiences, we create programs and classrooms where people feel safe and supported. We cannot do that without understanding their perspectives.

Kelly 14:14
I love this advice. You're reminding us to listen to ourselves. Your hallway example really resonated with me. And your 24-hour rule — I try to follow that as well. It goes back to understanding that you need to reflect, digest, and maybe gain clarity before responding. Thank you for that.

Laura 14:52
I think "kind" is the right word. There's a difference between being nice and being kind. Sometimes we feel pressure to always be nice, but being kind may mean giving developmental feedback in a thoughtful, intentional way.

Empathy helps us be kind — not by avoiding critique, but by delivering it based on an understanding of the other person’s goals, experiences, and emotions. That helps create collaborative plans for action and connection.

Andy 15:49
With “kind,” the words are important, but tone and body language can carry kindness even more. Sometimes you need someone to know you're being empathetic even if you can’t have the full conversation in that moment.

Humans are always growing personally and professionally. The programs you're planning really help develop the capacity to understand and respond to others with care as a professional skill. How do you do that?

Laura 16:58
The easiest answer is the cycle of reflection. The IMPACT framework in my book is built around this.

Developing empathy is iterative.

After an action, reflect: What happened? What went well? What didn’t? Why didn’t it go well? What might I do differently next time?

Reflection is only the first step. Preparation is the next step. Sometimes that means scripting language you want to use next time so it feels authentic to you.

Role plays help. Even mentally rehearsing interactions helps. If someone tends to ask for something urgently, you can rehearse an empathetic response that feels natural to you.

Mindfulness is also key. It supports the ability to pause before reacting. Meditation is one way to develop mindfulness, but not the only way. Even 10 minutes a day supports the pause that empathetic responses require.

Kelly 21:34
Laura, thank you. I want to pivot to burnout. You’ve talked about self-empathy and caring for ourselves. How can someone be attentive to their own needs as a leader or colleague and still avoid burnout?

Laura 21:57
Burnout cannot be fixed by meditation alone, and you cannot self-care your way out of burnout. I want to be clear about that.

For me, awareness is the first step in preventing burnout. Mindfulness helps us know when we need a break.

Setting boundaries is also important. I call it setting your "scope of practice." You need to know what falls within your role and abilities and what does not.

If someone needs something outside your scope, you need to know how to respond and where to direct them. And sometimes you need to accompany them to those resources.

You cannot meet every need. Knowing your limits helps prevent burnout. And knowing you have resources to send people to helps prevent the feeling that everything depends on you.

Empathy for yourself helps you know when your capacity is low and when you need to step back. That awareness allows you to avoid burnout while still showing up for others.

Andy 25:54
When you're trying to avoid burnout and you're stretched thin, give us one small thing you could do today or tomorrow. Something realistic you can start now.

Laura 26:14
First, you need to know your scope of practice. If you don't know your boundaries, you can't maintain them.

Second, take a mindful breath. The physiological sigh is a useful practice: inhale through your nose, take a short second sniff at the top, then exhale slowly through your mouth. Repeat a few times.

It helps create a pause and can improve overall mental health.

Andy 27:54
Thank you. I'm used to people not answering my questions. My family supports that.

I'm a fan of the sigh, but it has been banned by my family. I think I've used it one too many times.

Laura 28:11
Right — at dinner when you're like, "Before we eat today, would everyone take a physiological sigh?"

Andy 28:16
I need a second bunny. Can I get a second bunny?

Kelly 28:21
But it makes you feel better, right? It works. I'm an advocate of that breathing. So thank you, Laura.

Andy 28:27
It does make you feel better. One last question. Higher education, more than ever today, is navigating change. How can a people-centered approach help during times of transition or uncertainty?

Laura 28:43
This is a tough question because there's so much that goes into it.

Empathy is not a cure-all. It cannot solve systemic injustice, and calls for empathy can be weaponized. Telling someone, "You should be more empathetic," is never appropriate.

Leading with empathy helps us recognize others’ humanity and start with the assumption that, unless proven otherwise, their intentions are good. Understanding their perspective helps us respond in ways aligned with that understanding.

This is why I don't like the teachers who say, "It's in the syllabus." That assumes the person is willfully ignoring our documents. They may be new to higher education, or perhaps our language is not as clear as we think.

If we start from a place of trying to understand where people are coming from, that can help us respond in ways that demonstrate that understanding. It increases connection and ensures our responses are more supportive.

There is rarely a risk in behaving with empathy, but there are many risks in behaving without it. I always want to err on the side of being more empathetic.

Kelly 30:20
I think that's a perfect way to close out our podcast today. Thank you, Laura. We enjoyed this conversation so much.

Laura 30:26
Thank you. This was really fun.

Andy 30:28
And thank you for listening. If you have any questions or thoughts you'd like to share with us from today's podcast, please email us at podcast@HigherEdJobs.com
or send us a direct message on X @HigherEdCareers. Thank you, and we look forward to talking again.