E36
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[00:00:00] Andrew Hibel: Welcome to the HigherEdJobs podcast. I'm Andy Hibel, the chief operating officer and one of the co-founders of HigherEdJobs.

[00:00:06] Kelly Cherwin: And I'm Kelly Cherwin, the director of editorial strategy. Today we are honored to have Nick Lavery join us. Nick is currently serving the United States citizens as a special forces warrant officer, assistant detachment commander, and is widely recognized as an experienced subject matter expert in special operations intelligence fusion and mission planning and execution across all operational continuum.

In 2013 on Nick's second combat rotation to Afghanistan, he and his detachment fell victim to an insider attack, ultimately resulting in the loss of his leg. Following a year of surgeries and initial recovery, including the use of a prosthetic at Walter Reed National Medical Military Center, he returned to his unit.

Refusing a military medical retirement. Nick set his sights on returning to operational status. In 2015 at the conclusion of a challenging comprehensive assessment designed to evaluate Nick's abilities to operate. He returned to his [00:01:00] detachment and was subsequently deployed once again to Afghanistan, conducting full spectrum combat operations.

Nick has considered the first Green Beret to return to combat as an above the knee amputee. Thank you so much, Nick, for joining us today. We are honored to have you as a guest.

[00:01:15] Nick Lavery: Thanks guys. Thanks for having me. I appreciate it.

[00:01:17] Kelly Cherwin: But I wanna kind of transition our conversation over to some traits and skills that you've learned in the military to working in higher ed for our audience.

So I want to highlight actually, that you are the author of the book, Objective Secure. Yes ma'am. In the description it says the intent is simple. Provide readers the tools necessary to achieve any goal no matter how farfetched, unlikely, or impractical it may seem, period. I love that. So Nick, I want to ask you, what are some takeaways from your book that you think our audience could implement either in their, their current higher ed profession or in their job search?

[00:01:50] Nick Lavery: Oh wow. Um, There's a lot, uh, there, there's a lot. You know, I, I will just say that anytime someone brings up the book and I'm [00:02:00] horrible a as a, as my own PR person 'cause I, I never plug my stuff and, you know, my guys I work with are like, you didn't even mention the book. I'm like, sorry. So, thank you Kelly for doing so 'cause I would've missed it completely. And then I would've had people angry with me. Um, you know, people ask, what, what's the book about? And I just tell 'em, it, it is, it is not an autobiography. It, it is the methodology and tools and philosophy and strategy that I used to overcome my injury and get back onto the teams and continue to live my life the way I live in now, it's a guide, it's a manual and it, but it's one that is written to be relatable and translatable to anybody regardless of what you do professionally or hobbies or circumstance.

So, the entire book really is, is I could reference in regards to your question. I'll, I'll just hit a couple. You know, one is, without a mission, and mission is a military term, sure, but mission really means without a, a goal, right? A long-term…a big goal. An [00:03:00] aspiration really is a mission. Without one of those, or multiple of them, you can make progress and you can grow, and you can become stronger or more skilled, or you can advance across any and all lines of effort, but without a known point to be working towards, you may not be progressing towards what it is you truly want, right? If you don't know where you're going, any road will take you there. Another classic kind of cliche bumper stick slogan. So I know for me, Identifying a mission was essential. And again, I did it from the time I was in the hospital, in the intensive care unit.

I'm going back to the team, boom, that is it, and I will do whatever it takes by any righteous means necessary to make that a reality. That right there, again, it just, it, it set up, it set a path. I didn't know how to do it. I didn't know what it was gonna take, but I knew where I was going [00:04:00] and I think that there are many people out there that find themselves just simply floating through life.

Day after day, week after week, somewhat on autopilot, getting these little glimpses of happiness and joy and just stuck in this mundane cycle. And I can assure you that this right here is not a dress rehearsal. We have one shot at this and it will end. So knowing that, why not just leave it all out in the field?

Why not determine what it is you actually want, who you actually want to become, and then begin working towards that today, not tomorrow, not January 1st, new year, new me. Forget all that. Why not, so honest question, your listeners can ask themselves, why not? Some of the response is gonna be, well, it's, it's a huge risk, fear, uncertainty, other responsibilities. I'm a father, I'm a spouse. I'm a, yeah. You know what? All those things exist and most of those things exist for most of us. It [00:05:00] will not be easy. It will not be easy. But ask yourself this. You fast forward from the current life you're living now, 40 years, 50 years, 60, a hundred, and you're 177 years old, God willing, and you're looking back at today while you're listening to this conversation right now.

Would you be willing to sacrifice those moments between then and now to go back and put it on the line to live your life according to your actual passions and purpose? Would you be willing to do that? And I think for those that are able to put themselves in that mindset, empowers them, empowers us to, to go for it.

Because, because this game, we've been allowed to play is one that will end. And I know that for me, the fear of regret is one that drives me most of the time daily. It, it's that exact fear of me not living my purpose and me not living my truth forward and speaking my [00:06:00] being to the universe. So, the identification of a mission.

And then, you know, I'll just hit one more and you know, I think you may have mentioned it, Kelly, already, and that's the word, discipline, and it's one that we're all familiar with. And many of your listeners are gonna start rolling their eyes, maybe like, oh, he's gonna talk about discipline. He's gonna make me feel bad. I ate the donut this morning. Uh, you know, I'm such a horrible person. Like, that's not, it's not the point, and that's not the intent. However, in my opinion, discipline is at the foundation of success. Whatever your definition of success is. There is a reason why discipline is rooted in the foundation of that and what is discipline most know, you know, it's the willingness and ability to do something, whether you feel like it or not.

That's what it is. You know, the willingness to exchange what you want now for what you want most, that's discipline. And fortunately for us, even though you ate the donut this morning, you had the whole pepperoni pizza last night, or you went to the club and had too many drinks. Fortunately for all of us.[00:07:00]

We are offered these opportunities. That's what they are. They're opportunities every single day. Countless times, countless times we're given the chance to dial in our disciplines just that much more. And the beauty behind it is, is it compounds. It compounds and it compounds and it compounds and, and no one's expecting anyone to bat a thousand, but the more we do it with that type of consistency, the more it just becomes who we are and part of our character, and it's how we operate and it's how we live, and it becomes just that much easier every single time. We do the hard right over the easy wrong for us to do it again and again and again and again.

It continues to compound. Without that, without discipline. If you're only doing the things you know you need to do, when you feel like it, the game's already over, spoiler alert. The game is over before it even starts, you will lose. You may get a couple wins here and now because motivation comes and goes.

So, while you're motivated, you're doing it, great. But if that is the only time you are [00:08:00] executing, forget about it. You will lose to the person who is willing to do it, whether they feel like doing it or not. And the fastest way I've learned to break this down by all means, if you guys have a better model, is discipline enables habits. Habits enables consistency, and consistency is a requirement for progress. I don't know of a, of a simpler way for that to make sense to me. I'm happy to hear suggestions, but my point is there's a reason why discipline is talked about by a lot of high achievers and people of influence and coaches and mentors, and I'm in that same camp in terms of, of its value.

[00:08:37] Andrew Hibel: Oh, absolutely, absolutely.

[00:08:41] Kelly Cherwin: Looking for more conversations in higher ed, we invite you to join the higher ed military community as we discuss issues, best practices from campuses, policies, news and general trends affecting our institutions and the higher ed military affiliated community. Inspired by the deep commitment to service that veterans and military connected faculty, staff, and leaders have towards the academic community. [00:09:00]

We at HigherEdJobs, established higher ed military as a resource for both original and curated news and information, as well as job opportunities from colleges and universities actively recruiting military connected professionals. Find resources, thought pieces, tools, and other information you need to improve your institution's ability to support this amazing community.

Visit us@higheredmilitary.com on Facebook and LinkedIn.

[00:09:24] Andrew Hibel: It's kind of funny. I'm gonna bring it back to my childhood a little bit. Nick, I, I, I want to talk to you a little bit about my experience 'cause seeing this, when my wife Elizabeth and I decided to sit down and have kids, of course, one of the thoughts I had coming through my mind was, hey, if I'm born with this, what's the likelihood my kid's gonna be born with this?

And we went all around. We talked to the most well-known experts, and what I have, they really didn't know. Most people were saying, we really don't know. You might have it. You might not, 50 50. And uh, then I went to my [00:10:00] hand surgeon who'd seen thousands of people like me, kind of like your Walter Reed experience, and he said something that was of comfort.

It's, it's pretty profound 'cause I, I think a lot of my parenting skills actually come from him. So to kind of think that the last conversation I ever had with him was about being a parent. He said, Andy, I've seen so many people like you, and I can tell you either there's a pattern in a family or it's an aberration.

I would not worry as, as you and Elizabeth go and have kids. Your kids will be okay. They'll come out with two hands and it was absolutely the first thing I checked and thank God both of our kids have that. Now, if I would've looked back on that and said, oh wow, that's, it's really cool, Andy. It's, it's, it's neat that he did that.

What he failed to mention there is, now having a, a rising high school senior and a rising college senior, parenting and mixing in with all these other things about living that fulfilled life that you were talking about, living your true self, going in the direction you [00:11:00] want to, incorporating discipline into it.

Now you're, you're adding something for a lot of people. I who, who feel this way, being a good parent, being a good spouse, being the, the parent, in my case, I feel always is the parent that I, I need to be for them. I'm not always the parent I want to be, but the parent they need me to be, is one of the hardest things to stay disciplined and, and, and form into a habit and do consistently.

Hmm. What's your thought about family and parenting and how is your experience and your life's journey kind of informed your, your journey as a, a spouse, a, a parent, and, and your family?

[00:11:38] Nick Lavery: Great rundown. Thank you for sharing that. That was awesome. And dead on accurate. A few things come to mind. I'll go kind of rapid fire in jeopardy style. One is, you know, it's an opportunity to show my kids in particular that the only limitations that truly exist are the ones that we create in our own minds. You [00:12:00] know, they only know me as a one-legged guy, you know, so my oldest is six, my youngest is two, and you know, my six year old is now, he's, he's been able to explain how did daddy lose his leg since he was about three and a half or so.

At first he would say the words and still be kind of confused as to what that means. Now, you know, I go to like daddy and donuts, which was a thing at his school when they were still in session in kindergarten. And you know, some of his friends are all looking like, you know, 'cause kids are the best. They got no filter at all.

They're staring, their pointing, you know, they look to the robot leg, robot leg. I hear robot leg, you know, uh, daily. And you know, he's like proud. You know, this is my son, you know, he's proud. And he was five at the time, about to turn six, you know, in that area. And he's eager to just like run away from me and, 'cause we're at this table hanging out, having lunch and doing the thing.

He runs over, you know, oh my daddy got shot by a machine gun by a bad guy 'cause he's a soldier and he's just like all about it. And I just thought that that was so cool. This is all just really new. This is all just happening [00:13:00] now, you know, in the last six or so months. So, you know, I get a chance to demonstrate that to him daily. He gets to see it. He gets to feel it, that I do whatever I want to do and this doesn't hold me back. We can tell our kids things all day long and we do right. We teach 'em lessons and we mentor and we guide. But there's a difference when they get to see it and feel it and absorb it like the sponges that young people are.

This is just being soaked into his mind as my dad's different. I have two legs. He has one. But I see him in the gym. I see him in shape. I see him doing all the things around the house. I see him building stuff. I see him coming to my games with me and he's doing jujitsu with me and like all the, all the, all the stuff.

So I think that that might be what I'm most proud of about it and how it impacts me the most. And you know, kind of in a similar vein, I'll share this story with you guys. It's somewhat recent, but, I was at an event, I was at a conference and, uh, you know, I got asked this question by a guy and he said, you know, you got, you got young kids now and you're still a Green Beret active [00:14:00] duty.

You're still deploying, you're still going at it a hundred miles an hour. Like, do you think maybe you owe it to your kids to kind of tone that down a bit and, or maybe do something different. I'm not saying get outta the military, but maybe, you know, you do something different where it's lower risk. You know, maybe you owe it to your kids to do something lower risk so that they have their father going forward.

And I didn't have an answer for him. It was an amazing moment for me. I've been asked a lot of questions over the last decade and that was one that caught me off guard. I said, Hey man, listen, I don't have an answer for you, but thank you for asking, 'cause I have something to reflect on and to prey on and to think about him moving forward.

And I did. And you know, I came to the, the conclusion that, and similar to what we're talking about is, you know, there's, there's a time when our kids are gonna figure us out. They're gonna get old enough and smart enough to figure us out and they believe what we say, for a while anyway, and then they start to ask some questions.

They're like, eh, I don't know about that Easter, Easter bunny. Wait, what? Like, something's not adding up, as they get older and smarter and [00:15:00] more exposed and more experienced, you know, one of these days they're gonna figure us out. And I have this fear and also coupled with this sense of, of pride about looking forward, you know, down, down the line.

And this moment where my sons, or my oldest, let's say, happens to him first is, asked about me. I need him to know that what I was attempting to teach him, I lived myself. Meaning, you know, you tell your kids you can do anything you wanna do in your life, buddy. You can be whoever you want. You put your mind to it.

You develop a strategy, you work hard, right? You like, read Objective Secure in my book, and then put it into practice. You know, shameless plug, but you see what I'm saying, right? Like you can be who you want to be and you mean that with every fiber of your being and you want your children to do that. Well, my fear is that he turns around and says, well, did you do that?

And I live now being able to answer that question or [00:16:00] almost make it so the question doesn't need to be asked because he knows, 'cause he lived it alongside me. Defied the odds took on the naysayers, dealt with the self-doubt, dealt with the ridicule, handled the additional challenge. He saw that he was right alongside me, that ride.

So, when I'm saying to him, bro, you can be whatever you want to be in this world, he knows I mean it because I lived it and he watched me live it. So just two examples that, you know, really close to each other about how my family's impacted me. But the bottom line is they're at the core of my ‘why’ behind every single thing I do, it's really enabled by, by these three people, my wife and, and my two kids.

[00:16:40] Andrew Hibel: That's amazing. Thank you for sharing. And you know, as you're telling that story, I'm thinking to myself, I kind of know the answer here. This is who you are and to, to live a life where your kids see you doing that is better than living a life where it may be a little bit safer, but you're not [00:17:00] living to what you want to be, and that's, that's such amazing foresight for anybody who's looking at whatever it is that you do that you're passionate about. Don't give it up. [Yeah.] Do what you, whatever it is, do what? Whatever it's, do what you can do and God bless you if you can make a living doing it.

That's, that's a really good marriage of a professional career and, and a life to be lived. So, thank you for sharing. Well said. Now be before we end it. We always like to remind certain things at, at the end of a podcast, but the first, we, we don't normally do this, but I, I follow your Twitter feed. I, I really hope that folks, if you're sitting at your computer now, Nick, where can they follow you? 'cause I think there's so much that you put out there on social media that if you're looking for, for a, a kindred spirit if to, to develop some of that discipline, follow Nick on Twitter and Instagram.

[00:17:52] Kelly Cherwin: I follow you on Instagram, so and so do my kids.

[00:17:55] Andrew Hibel: Awesome. So please, will you let folks know where, where are you, where can they find you?

[00:17:59] Nick Lavery: Yeah, absolutely. The, the one stop shop is really through our website. It's got links to all the socials. The website is team machine.com. That's machine, MCHN.com and that's got links to the socials. I'm on. Let's see, I'm on ig. I'm on Facebook, I'm on Twitter. I. I'm on YouTube and I think that might be it.

Uh, actually I'm on the new one that, uh, IG just came out with. I just enabled my account threat thread last night. The other thread threads, it's thread, what's it called? Threads. Threads all. So I'm, I'm on there, I'm on there messing around. Igs is the most, I guess well-known one. Um, but so they're all kind of relatively the same stuff. If you guys are interested.

[00:18:39] Andrew Hibel: So if you, if you have questions for Nick, I suggest you find him. He's very active on social media, very interactive on social media. If you have questions or thoughts for us, please feel free to email us at podcast@higheredjobs.com or tweet us at HigherEdJobs. And we really thank you for listening and we really hope you enjoyed having [00:19:00] Nick.

Thank you Nick, for being here. We really hope that you enjoyed Nick as much as we did.

[00:19:04] Nick Lavery: Andy, Mike, Kelly, I appreciate the time. Great conversation. Thank you for what you guys are doing and, uh, and stay the course. Stay at it. It's important.

[00:19:12] Andrew Hibel: Thank you, Nick. Thank you. Thanks Nick. That was fantastic. Thank you, Nick.

[00:19:15] Nick Lavery: Awesome. Great conversation. Well done.

[00:19:18] Kelly Cherwin: Awesome. Thank you. And I was gonna say, you know, I mentioned that I follow you on Instagram and I, our conversation. I can tell that you are authentic, like the, the conversation we had today. I see it. In, you know, your posts and your motivation, so it's awesome. Thank you. So thank you for being you.

[00:19:32] Nick Lavery: Thank you. I, I mean, truth be told, that is highlighted as one of our core competencies. I say our, because I work with a team around this whole project, but that's considered one of our core competencies is, is authenticity. I think the, the facade game may get you some likes and follows or whatever your metric of success is, but I don't think it's, it's unsustainable and unenjoyable if you're trying to put on this, you know, this show.

Yeah. Um, and unfortunately I've met people that [00:20:00] I've followed and listened to and learned from, and you meet 'em and they're totally different and it's heartbreaking. But it's also so refreshing when you meet someone and they're the same person and you're like, wow, thank you. Like you're you. It's really important that that's that, that's true. Yeah.

[00:20:14] Andrew Hibel: And after this conversation, it's easy to see. You couldn't be anything else

[00:20:17] Nick Lavery: I don't think so either. I couldn't imagine what it would look like.

[00:20:22] Andrew Hibel: Thank you. Thank you, thank you. If you're in Chicago, look us up. Please do.

[00:20:26] Nick Lavery: Awesome. Thank you guys. Take care. Talk soon. Enjoy the rest of the weekend.

[00:20:32] Kelly Cherwin: Bye.