Andy 0:03
Welcome to the HigherEdJobs podcast, Ask the Expert edition. I'm Andy Hibel, the chief operating officer and one of the co-founders of HigherEdJobs.

Kelly 0:10
And I'm Kelly Cherwin, the director of editorial strategy. Today we are happy to have our friend of the podcast back, Kathleen Hermacinski. Kathleen serves as the associate vice president of human resources at Illinois Wesleyan University, and she is the CUPA-HR Illinois president-elect. She brings over 15 years of experience in higher education, including eight years focused on human resources. With a background in finance, Kathleen excels at aligning HR strategies with institutional goals while fostering a people-centered culture that supports faculty, staff, and student success. She is passionate about building inclusive work environments and leading initiatives that enhance employee engagement and organizational effectiveness. Committed to continuous improvement, she leverages her expertise to navigate the unique challenges of higher education HR and contribute meaningfully to the university's mission. Kathleen, welcome back. Thank you for joining us today.

Kathleen 1:02
I am happy to return. Thank you, Andy and Kelly.

Andy 1:05
Great to see you.

Kelly 1:06
So, let's get into our question from our listener. Today's question is, how do I resign from my position and not share why I'm leaving or what I'm doing next? Kathleen, what are your thoughts on this good question?

Kathleen 1:20
I think this is an excellent question, especially for higher education where I think as an industry we tend to overshare. We bring our authentic self to work, and I think everybody's expectation is that when you resign, you just immediately say where you're going to go because people are excited or just kind of interested in what your next steps are. So really, I think less is more.

Some different options that I've used personally, including my most recent transition from my last institution to here -- Illinois Wesleyan wasn't prepared to make an announcement when my past institution was. So I think the line that I actually used was, "I'm keeping things private right now, but I'm looking forward to the next chapter." So keeping it vague.

Additionally, you could say something like, "I've decided right now it's the time for change. I prefer to focus on wrapping up well here and staying in touch." So just high-level, kind of stopping the next natural question of where are you going next. Just putting a nice full stop there. And you can say maybe we'll have something that will be making an announcement either soon, or check social media or LinkedIn. But I just think a nice vague answer is a good way to handle it -- I've just decided it's the right time for change.

Andy 2:31
I think that's wonderful advice. When I first read this question, you answered the question of why you can't do it. "I can't really offer right now, not in a position I can offer." Finding a way to say that professionally is important.

But I want to know why you don't want to share something. If you know where you're going and there's not an obstacle, I think saying, "Hey, listen, I've loved working at Institution A, I've learned a lot, but I'm looking forward to a new opportunity at Institution B where I feel like I can learn more."

I've always learned in these transitions that the communities that we work in are very small communities. The relationships you have are very, very important. The oversharing part that I'm really judicious about is this isn't the point to bare your soul and say, "Oh my God, I can't believe I made it this long here because it sucks because of this." You can't do that.

But the idea of just being able to share, express some gratitude, express some hope about where you're going, and show that you're committed to a solid transition -- you have to do it.

There are circumstances, though, and Kathleen, you hit it out of the park with, "I can't say right now." But I think if you can't say right now, it is, from a professionalism standpoint, something you need to understand. These are relationships. What you're trying to do is respect those relationships irrespective of whether or not you feel like you've been respected.

Try to treat people the way you want to be treated. You're not just doing it because it's the right thing to do. You're doing it because it's the sort of professional you want to be and demonstrate to others how they should be. Find your better angels here. Be in tune with doing the right thing and taking the high ground. But there are points where you just have to pull back.

Kathleen 4:22
I think to the point of why is somebody asking to not share what it is, what is the background information?

For my personal experience, my new institution wasn't ready for that announcement because there was some restructuring going on. That was my reason for not sharing, because my new place wasn't ready for that announcement.

As you shared, higher education is -- while across all 50 states and internationally -- a small community, especially when you get into faculty segments of science faculty and HR leaders. News spreads quickly.

It could also be that potentially the faculty member is resigning and not wanting to explain where they're going. Maybe it's because they're changing disciplines or moving into a staff role. And if the faculty member is leaving their discipline and moving over into a staff role, there can be some nuances that they may not want to share at that point.

It could be that they're taking a year off. It could be a good situation where they've received some additional income and don't need to work for a year. They're not ready to take a sabbatical. Maybe it's a staff member who just wants a year off to reflect on their mental health and doesn't want to put pressure on that.

You could also have this question if maybe it's an involuntary separation. If you're out in the community or public or on social media, you may want to keep things more private.

But Andy, to your point -- you're correct. Relationships matter. You want to make sure we're keeping the bridges built and not burning them on the way out. And so when at all possible, when you can clearly articulate where you're going, that maintains strong relationships. But every situation is unique, with ad hoc situations where vague answers are appropriate.

Andy 6:08
And when we talk about burning bridges, I always kind of feel like I try to remind people that you don't even want to litter on that bridge. This is a delicate part of the whole process. Just treat it with the reverence it deserves.

These are people's lives. Your leaving is going to create an issue for the people who are staying. And for real consideration, please understand: if you worked there for five, seven years or longer, that's a really long tenure and long relationships.

I'll point out -- you just never know. A good example would be early on in my career. I had a cup of coffee at an institution with a very, very small role. Then I got a much larger role at another institution, 500 miles away.

I had a wonderful exit conversation with the number two person in this team and enjoyed it. He was an advocate at the previous role. But six months after landing at the other organization in the bigger role, guess who showed up as the number one person? It was him. Wonderful person, wonderful advice over the years as a young professional he offered me. If I would have done anything to that bridge as I crossed it, that would have really affected my career.

Kathleen 7:29
Absolutely. Without a shadow of a doubt. You never know when you're going to reconnect with people. Even if it's not at the same small institution, they could be at a sister institution in your conference or something like that. You want to make sure you're building those great relationships.

And can I, for the record, officially request to use "littering on that bridge that we're building," because that was amazing.

Kelly 7:51
I want to add on to what you guys are saying about relationships. I completely agree that you have to make sure you're maintaining these relationships and keeping the bridge litter free.

I can tell by the way this question is worded that the person who submitted it is definitely being considerate and wants to be thoughtful. I want to flip it to the other side -- the person asking, "Why are you leaving?" They might be nosy, for good or bad reasons.

I would like to suggest that people respect that maybe someone doesn't want to share other information. And the person resigning shouldn't feel bad for just saying, "Will share at a later date."

So it goes both ways. The person leaving has to leave with grace, but the person accepting that they're leaving should also be considerate of that person's privacy.

Kathleen 8:44
And I would add that when you're resigning, it is important to make sure you're still giving notice. You're not just resigning and then leaving the institution that day or a couple of days later. To keep the litter off the bridge and stabilize it -- not like the Francis Scott Key Bridge that collapsed recently -- you're giving notice.

I know this is not the topic today, but two weeks' notice is becoming archaic in higher education. We're seeing longer resignations for faculty and more senior staff positions -- closer to a month.

Any time you can give an employer more time while still being true to yourself and your future employer, I think it really helps that relationship. If you're ever going to come across anybody you worked with again in the future, you'll be remembered for going above and beyond to make sure you cleaned up everything before you departed and ensured there was some kind of succession plan in place.

Even if you're being cagey or private about why you're leaving, still be diligent to maintain all of the relationships -- including being cognizant of your notice.

Andy 9:53
The economist in me needs to come out here. I do agree 100% that longer resignation and transition periods are becoming more of the norm. It's important to offer.

I wouldn't be insulted if they say, "You know what, we want to stick to two weeks," or, in some instances, they might say, "Can you get your things at this point? Our process is to ask you to leave, but of course we'll pay for two weeks." That happens.

But it also reminds folks that it's the principle of diminishing returns and marginal utility over time. The third slice of pizza isn't as good as the first two, and you're ready to move on to the next course.

So understand: staying longer is good, but you're not going to be as productive. You've already decided to leave. It's hard to stay in a role once you've decided you wanted to leave, let alone have the other role set up and resigned and transitioning. It's a really hard place for a professional to be and still be the professional they want to be.

So I would say if you're exceeding three or four weeks, you really need to give it some consideration. Remember, the third slice of pizza isn't as good as the first two.

Kathleen 11:15
Well, now that I'm hungry because I want the first and second slice of pizza, that is a very good point, Andy.

And while your listener was asking how to privately resign without giving too much information, one thing I want to talk about is when an employer asks an employee to stay quiet. That comes with its own issues -- ramifications, mental health, etc.

When somebody changes jobs, they're changing their life. This is a huge life decision, even though it could be, quote, just a job. If you're not able to announce it to colleagues, friends, family, or publicly on LinkedIn or other social media, that can create a hardship.

It can potentially leave a negative impression between the separating employee and the employer if they're asked to keep quiet. The employer should be transparent as to why -- maybe they want to get some strategic plans or interim plans in place.

But if you weren't allowed to make an announcement before your last day, that's a red flag for me.

Andy 12:22
I think that's excellent advice.

Kelly 12:23
You probably proved the point of why you might be accepting another position someplace else.

Andy 12:28
It's definitely validating why a search was necessary and why a change might be necessary if there are additional requirements placed on you.

Kelly 12:36
Kathleen, Andy, thank you so much for this conversation today. It was fantastic. We appreciate your insights, Kathleen.

Andy 12:43
Thank you both. This was a wonderful conversation. And whoever sent this question, I really hope it went well.

Kathleen 12:48
Me too.

Andy 12:49
I'd love to know a follow-up if you're out there listening. Let us know how it went.

Kathleen 12:53
And let me know what you said so I might be able to change my advice in the future.

Andy 12:56
If you have any questions for us, for Kathleen, any comments or thoughts, or things we absolutely said that you disagree with -- or if you agree with them -- please email us at podcast@higheredjobs.com
or send a direct message on X @higheredcareers. Let us know what you thought. Thank you for listening, and we look forward to talking again soon